Lost
by yuki-tenshee
Summary: After the battle with the Chiemera Ants and after his best friend's death, Killua founds it hard to cope with his life.


**Disclaimer: Reality check – Hunter x Hunter does not belong to me!**

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**- Lost -**

**Chapter 1**

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"Gon… wake up…" Killua pleaded, tears flowing freely down his cheeks as he cradled the lifeless body of his best friend. "Wake up… don't leave me… please… wake up…"

But Gon didn't flutter his eyes open and scold him for interrupting his sleep or shove him away and told him off… and deep down inside of him, Killua knew Gon would never wake up again. He was dead. But it was a fact that he was not ready to face yet. It was too soon. He still wanted to play with Gon and discover this meaningless reality with his best friend, still wanted to believe that this damn world is beautiful.

"You know that he is dead right?" Killua tried to ignore the voice. "He wouldn't come back to life no matter how much you wish for it because he is dead. Dead people don't come back to life."

"SHUT UP!" Killua shouted to the figure that was standing several meters away from him. "HE IS NOT DEAD!"

"But he _is_ dead." The not-human figure laughed. "Because I already killed him."

Anger simmered inside of him like boiling water as the laughter rang through his head. He laid Gon carefully onto the ground and stood up.

White rage like he had never felt before licked the inside of him. For the first time in his life, he really, really felt like killing someone – in the most excruciating way possible.

He let his Qi flow… and as it did the air around him flicker with nen.

"He is not dead." He said in a low menacing voice.

"You can believe anything but it won't change the fact." The voice mewed.

"You _hurt_ Gon…"

"So?" Naferpito smiled, unaffected by the murderous nen that was directed to her. "What you going to do about it?"

Killua wiped the tears from his face before answering. All he wanted to do now was to inflict pain. Terrible pain.

"I'll kill you…"

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Kurapika stared at the letter, disbelief. He had read it for the fifth time but still he could not bring himself to accept the content of the letter. It was impossible… and yet…

He pulled his hand phone out from the back pocket of his jean and dialed Reolio's number. He got an answer on the fourth rang.

"Kurapika - …"

"Say it's not true!" Kurapika cut in before Reolio could greet him. "Say it's not true that Gon is…" His voice failed. He could not bring himself to say the word for to say it out loud was to believe it and he was still not ready for it. He wanted to believe that this was all just a sick joke that one of his friend cook up. But…

"I'm sorry – it's true." Reolio answered regretfully, confirming the letter and his fear. Deep down inside his cold heart a void that had been Gon widens as the pain that he thought he had forgotten after all this years' tore at his heart once again.

"How! When!" He gasped.

There was a long pause on the other end.

"I don't know exactly what happened, but…" Kurapika could hear the sadness in Reolio's voice as he finally spoke. "…President Netero said that Gon died in the war between the Chimera Ants… He died fighting one of the Chimera Ants' high guards. It happened a week ago."

He had heard about the Chimera Ants phenomenon before, on the news; a type of insect that had grown abnormally large and eats other living things for its food. The news had reported that the King of the Chimera Ants had tried to take over the world but a group of Hunters had managed to stop him. But… he did not know that Gon was one of the Hunters since the news never mentioned the Hunters involved specifically.

"Why didn't you just call me then?" Kurapika felt angry for knowing about his friend's death so late.

He heard Reolio sighed heavily. "I tried to, right after I got the news, but I couldn't reach you. Where were you?"

Kurapika cursed himself, remembering where he had been. "Sorry, I was in the Azgavilian Forest… I just got back yesterday."

"Well…" Reolio hesitated. "I was wondering if you can meet me to talk about Killua."

His feet suddenly turned cold. He had forgotten all about Killua.

"How _is_ Killua?"

He heard Reolio sighed again. "Well they found him with Gon…" Kurapika felt the cold settle into his stomach. "He was unconscious and was badly injured but he was still alive… but then again…"

Reolio's voice trailed off and Kurapika had to restrain himself from cursing his friend out loud.

"But then again what!" He asked impatiently.

"He is like someone who lost his soul… He wouldn't talk. He wouldn't eat. He wouldn't do anything." Reolio said, his voice sounded distress. "So President Netero had to send him home… I- I don't know what happened after that."

Kurapika slumped onto the couch beside the telephone and heaved a regretful sighed. Even though, among his friends, Killua was the one he like the least but he was still his friend. And he pitied the boy for the pain he must be going through right now. He knew exactly what it was like to lose something very important to you… had felt the anguish of lose… the day the Genei Ryodan massacred his clan… It was never easy coping with that kind of lost.

"Where are you right now?" Kurapika asked.

"I'm still in my hometown."

"Okay, I'll meet you at Kukuru Mountain two days from now."

"We're going to the Zorldyeck mansion?" Reolio asked nervously.

Kuripika frowned, "Of course we are. We're going to meet Killua, right?"

"Yeah, you're right…" He heard his friend sighed on the other end. "It's better that way."

"So it's settled. I'll meet you there four days from now."

They said their goodbyes and hung up.

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**To Be Continue**

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**When I wrote this I was in a suicidal mood and instead of killing myself I killed Gon … I'm very sorry… But I hope you like it anyway.**


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